Tuesday: first appt

I had my first OB appointment today. :) It didn't really feel like much of an appointment, because they mostly just gave me reading material and I gave blood for some tests. I also found out that I might only get one ultrasound at 20 weeks. I was hoping for more.

I'm only feeling ok. Nights, right before bed, have been the worst, although I haven't thrown up. Yesterday I was gone for about four hours and so exhausted when I got home. My naps have increased in length to about two hours and I'm not having trouble going to sleep at night. But besides those things it isn't going too badly. It's nice not having a job so I can nap.

Sunday: Happy Mother's Day

...to me! :)

Ben wished me Happy Mother's Day a few times too and that was wonderful.

Monday: week 5

Well, I guess the + on the stick was actually correct. The nurse on the phone said I'm due Jan 4, but according to the internet calculations I'm due Jan 1.

Also, the general practioner doesn't do OB stuff, which I understand. But you can't exactly ask people for recommendations without them wondering (or asking) if you're pregnant. It's a problem. So if I were still an unpregnant person, I'd ask for recommendations now while you can still say you're not pregnant. :)

Monday: +

I took a pregnancy test today. I almost waited to take it because we only have one left and I didn't want to get a negative result and have to buy more. But I also have been feeling rather weird the last few days and our curiosity got the better of us. So I took the test. And it was positive.

Yay!

But it's also a bit scary.

Saturday: yuck

I haven't been feeling great this last week. Well, I guess I've only been feeling about 98%...not enough to normally complain about it, but enough to be annoyed. My stomach is off. While I can hope it's because I'm pregnant, it's more likely my body getting itself straightened out or stress. Especailly because it started I think before my body would even know I'm pregnant.

I remember not having happy periods before I went on the Pill (although I don't remember it starting this early in the cycle either). I am not looking forward to dealing with a few months of them.

Unknowing

Seriously, it would be nice if there was an obvious sign at conception. Like your big toe lighting up or something. It's only the first month and I know our chances might not be great this month, but I'm already impatient to know.

Friday: no more pills

I'm going off birth control tonight. I'm excited. But it's a weird thing to be excited about since I won't know anything for at least a month and even then it might be a while before I can be really excited. I'm trying to prepare myself for delayed excitement.

end of Thanksgiving: kids

Well, this is one of the first times I've come home and not been glad that we don't have kids. It's not that I don't love being around the nieces and nephews, but it's always been nice to be alone again.

It seems like a good place to be.

dreams

Well, here is the first post in my semi-secret blog that won't be put up for a while. As long as I can remember to push "save" instead of "publish."

I started taking prenatal vitamins a few days ago. I know, in the whole progression to have a child it is a rather minor step without much commitment. But since I've started them I feel like I've been remembering my dreams so much better. I also was able to take a lot of naps the last few days, so I guess we'll see if it is just a coincidence.

My other dreams are bigger. There's still some unknowns with work and where we will be in a few months. Usually I try to forget about it, but the last few days it's been harder. My dreams include staying around here and having a kid, but I also have to remember that those might not be God's dreams for me. It is rather annoying sometimes.