Wednesday: transporters

So Ben and I were talking the other day about how the Nobel prize winner in physics is the first person to receive both a Nobel prize and an ig-Nobel prize. That is rather amazing.

But what would be even more amazing would be to win both for the same work. I decided that teleportation is the thing that is going to do this. So wrote the outline of that paper (first draft):

Title: Bringing your food to you: a look at a way to eat without leaving the lab

I. Introduction

A. The problem with having to eat

i. Lack of productivity

ii. Long lines

iii. Schedule issues

B. How people currently solve this issue

i. bring food from home (cold)

ii. beg a friend to bring some

iii. order in (expensive)

C. A new way to eat

i. Teleportation from where the food is sent directly to the lab

II. Methods

A. Set-up

i. Teleporter in a kitchen (shows a grad student wearing a chef's hat)

ii. Teleporter in the lab (show a box with a sign "food allowed in this area")

B. Procedure

i. Chef would cook a taste and delicious meal that isn't so delicious after a few minutes

(eggs in the shape of a smiley face)

ii. Chef puts on Teleporter and hits "send"

iii. Grad student eats food while smiling and working.

iv. Grad student sends back food containers

C. The technical stuff

III. Results

A. Happy grad students!

i. Compare hungry grad student performance to non-hungry grad student performance

ii. Clean labs

B. Compare amount of work completed

IV. Discussion

Hmmm...figure out something to go here.

IV. Conclusions

A. Feed your grad students

B. Teleportation is cool

This person will win the Nobel for discovering how to teleport large items and the ig-Nobel for figuring out how to use massive amounts of energy to move smiley faces across the hall.